Friday, 7 October 2016

My first Best Friend

This is a story of my first best friend, no one can take his place because he taught me the meaning of friendship. We were together for 3 years, 1st, 2nd and 3rd class, I mean literally the beginning of my conscious life. Because my dad was in army we used to travel different places and at that phase of my life we were at the capital– Delhi. This is where I met Khuminlal. I do remember how we met in a very obscure way; one day I was with my dad going somewhere, he met his friend and with him his son was there, and they introduced us. He was from eastern part of India, Nagaland! And he didn’t know Hindi, so he couldn’t talk to kids. I used to teach him Hindi. Now the part I am really confused is how did I teach him? I mean I knew Hindi, but I didn’t know his native language, yes we both knew English of a very bad shape, but we still managed to understand each other. More than word we understood out of our expressions and emotions, it was like a mother who understands what her child wants to say when he doesn’t even start talking. Or, it was like when your friend is so drunk that he couldn’t speak, but understand what he is trying to tell exactly, (Of course if you are not drunk too). That was the first thing I ever learned, how to communicate!

I do also remember that we both used to learn Karate, a type of martial arts. And we both were very good at it, but I always avoided fighting him. Because he had very heavy bones, you know even in your group there must be a person whose bones are very strong, and when he/she hits you it really hurts. Even if they hit you casually the causality is very high, Khuminlal was among them. And he was very disciplined about Karate, when I used make fun of the moves of Karate, he used to get angry, and I used to maintain a distance between us and used to continue teasing him, he then used to run to beat me and I used to run to save myself from getting beaten up.

There are couples of more incidences that I remember, but I can’t remember anything before or after that. It’s like you remember that you performed something on the stage, but you don’t remember what you did before going on the stage and after stepping down from stage. Because of this you feel like you watched a movie or it’s not real but something like dream, just those incidents. Now because I remember multiple incidents and my parents also knew him and his family, I am confident than I am suffering anything psychologically.

I also think about why he was so special to me, I mean I used to be other guys too, but at that age why I liked to hang out with him. I don’t know what were are the reasons, but I know that he was is special to me. It’s like when you are watching a movie, you see the actor standing on the building and you know that he is going to jump, you have no idea why you felt that, but the important thing is you feel that. This is the same thing I tell my friends when they ask me what should they do to hook a girl up. You can’t do anything if the girl doesn’t experience something different while talking to you, and it’s not something that you can create, it just either exists or doesn’t exist. Same thing also happens in your friends circle, you hate a specific person without reason, you don’t know why but you hate the fact that he is in your group.

Back to the topic, after 3rd class, I moved to Maharashtra, and I don’t know about him, maybe he told me, but I don’t remember. I don’t remember how we planned to meet in future, I mean we both knew that we were going to go at different places, and we must have talked about that. But I have no clue what we talked. I just wish that out of somewhere, I meet him, I don’t know how that’s possible, but I feel like we will meet. When we will meet I will ask him about the things he remembers, I am sure that he would be remembering all the different things than me, and by listening to his stories I will definitely be shocked to know the things I actually did and knowing more about the relation we had at that age. And it would be so sad if we never meet, I mean there will come a time when I will precisely feel like that, this all was a dream.

I am thankful to Yaaron Ki Barat to run this scheme, which gave me opportunity to write about my First Best Friend.

Tuesday, 20 September 2016

Knowledge is Curse

You found yourself in an ocean, water everywhere, you are struggling to live
Every person you know doing the same
All the people going in a direction with a hope to find a shore
A false direction, your instinct says
You get feeling that the opposite direction could have a shore but with no surety
You try to tell people but they don’t listen.
You could go alone on probably the right path
Or with all the people you love on the wrong path
What Will You Do?

Knowledge is Curse

This is a story of a boy born in a war torn area. The first thing he ever learned was that the foreign army killed his parents. In that area, as soon as the grip of a child gets firm, he is handed with the labor tools or military armaments. He was destined to hold the armaments, till he dies or kill every last enemy. Isolated from the world, people here knew only one thing that both surrounding nations want to acquire their state for political influence. This state suffered major causality of the war between those two big nations; hence people here hated both neighbors. The kid, with all the other kids was being trained to become a part of their revolution. While growing up he witnessed infinite deaths.

While getting transformed from teen to adult, his fingers started to tremble while holding guns. He started to feel that killing humans could be a wrong thing for humans. But his feelings being a counter to all the philosophies and mythologies he ever learned, he dominated his emotions. His uncle and his family, guardians of the kid, always expected that the kid will take revenge of his family and his people. That could be the only reason his uncle used to keep him like a son, the kid started to think. This gave the kid more power to control his feelings.

After long day of training, at night, in the deep darkness, his instincts used to take over his mind. Forcing him to use his own mind to judge what is right and good and what is wrong and bad. He always lost his consciousness and fell asleep before getting to a conclusion. His training was almost done and he was selected for executing a key plan. After realizing that the aim of the project was to deliver a message by killing hundreds of people, his heart got heavy filled with grievous sorrow. He realized that it was the time when he needed to find what was right and act according to it. His hours of sleep reduced dramatically. He was swinging like a pendulum between his two options. To continue what he was bound to do, or to take a stand on something no one has ever thought of. After a long stretch he realized that he was going to depart for his mission soon and his heart was already in the court against violence. While reviewing his stand, he realized that he had no proof that his instinct were in the right direction. Even if he stood for his emotions, he would end up hurting his family and his committee. Every person he knows would consider him as a coward. He took side of the enemies who killed his parents, just because he is scared, that’s what people will talk about him, he thought.

He could either kill people who mean nothing to him or hurt the people he knew and spent his whole life with. Even if he proceeds according to the plan his masters has set, he knew he could get killed. But his death would be considered as an act of courage. And if refuses to go on the board, he could live a long life, but he would considered as a coward and a shame on his community. No one would understand what his ideas are, no one would talk to him, he would be excluded from the society, and he would never watch people straight in their eyes. And he realized that he couldn’t find peace by hurting his own people. Reconsidering all possible possibilities, he preferred not to share his feelings with anyone and be the part of the thing going on.

It was the day of the execution. He was on the foreign land; it was the place where he was going to shed blood to send a message. Before taking his gun out in his hands, he was observing the people who had no idea that they were going to die. In the next moment he realized that he was going to die with them, he felt a vacuum in his chest, like his heart has been taken away. Following his leader’s orders, he took his gun and started firing on the people. He didn’t count how many bullets he fired and how many people he killed.

After a while, foreign people came with their armory to kill him, he got shot and fell on the ground. He always thought that he would feel unbearable pain and will die due to that pain. But he couldn’t feel anything, he was feeling like after a long day he is about to sleep, same thoughts started in his mind. He was not ashamed of anything. Just thinking, thinking that he failed to live and failed to die. He was dying without getting the answers to questions. Why did he experience the urge to ask the questions! His life and his death would be so good if he didn’t realize that killing was wrong. Or he could be living by his own ways if he didn’t realize what his people would think of him after his rejection to the plan. Or at least he could have died peacefully like other humans die, if he didn’t know that he was going to die.

From the Editor: I am very glad that you are here, I hope you liked the story, please comment your view below in the comment section. Also like the page on Facebook and do follow on Twitter 

Also if you liked this story I am sure that you will like: The Things I Can Never Tell You

Friday, 19 August 2016

I don't Understand- 2

"It is incomprehensible how our believe in Destiny boosts as soon as we get hit by a major Failure."

There are many things that are very difficult to understand, and even you understand it, it becomes more difficult to explain.....There are many more things that are incomprehensible, for those things read previous post on the same topic I don't Understand
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Thursday, 28 July 2016

2 types of Bikers

 They were still becoming friends, still getting to know each other, still trying hard to remember each other’s’ names. After the long lectures, they all decided to meet at a known place to visit an unknown place of the city. They all met when the day was turning into night. It was the first time they were watching each other in a different shade of light. Three boys and two girls, all choose their favorite seats in the car. The car was of one of the boy’s. They all reached at a place very popular among the college people. They ordered some drinks and starters, talking to each other came an instance when everybody ran out of the topics to speak on. The situation started to fill a feeling of embarrassment in all of them, unnecessary prolonging the subjects, started to make the environment more unpleasant.

Everyone started to force their brains to think of a general topic that will engage every one of them. Looking at the time, one of the boys said; “thank god, we came in a car, it would be very difficult to drive bikes such late at night with the senses half gone.” Everyone agreed with that, at last after a long period there was an issue on which everyone had some stiff views. Anyways do you like bike riding? Asked one of the girl to the guy who initiated the topic. ‘Not much’, was the best answer he could think of in the span of about 2 seconds. To support his statement he added that the comfort level he gets while driving the car is much greater than he could ever get on the bikes; and bike are for boys, cars-for gentlemen.

The other girl asked the same question to another guy. He said he love riding the bikes. And what type of biker are you? The one who rides with moderate speed or who likes to ride in rush? Question arrived from the group. “I like driving in low speed”, “I used to be a hasty driver but things got changed with the time.” He must have met with an accident (with a mocking tone), said the boy who doesn’t like bikes. A smile which he was trying hard to hide confirmed that the taunt was true. It took 10 mins for the group to convince him to share his story.

I was a very confident biker, still a confident biker. But I used to drive at very high speed even when it was not needed. I thought my skills determine the journey, with those skills there was no chance of meeting an accident. But one day I realized that other parameters also contribute to the outcome. For instance, that night it was the first rain of season, which highly reduced the grip on the road, bike wasn’t maintained, and the driver of the car in front of me was not sober, all these things combined together which had the influence greater than my skills. And it was just 10-12 seconds of whole scenario. A moment before I actualized my accident; my confidence was at the top like always, but it was not enough.

Everyone in the gang was satisfied with the story, something real something intact was in the content. With some curiosity in the voice one of the girl asked the third guy about his views on this topic. Sudden enlargement of pupils and spreading of eyebrows suggested that the guy wasn’t ready with his answer. For thinking hard about whether to tell the truth or not; the entire group started to assume that he is now making a false story. I like speed! Which assured the group that, he is now making up story just to oppose the other guy and to make him feel inferior. After that an argument burst and, “There are many things that you still need to learn”, was the terminated sentence.

To support this bold statement, he added that he also faced a big accident. “And I agree with you, it lasted for just 10-12 seconds, it began when I realized that I am now going to fall and lasted just for hardly 10 seconds until I found myself on the ground”. “In those 10-12 seconds I learned the biggest lesson of life- your whole life reviews in front of your eyes, and the last pictures are of the people you truly love and care for- is false. These things are made to make movies and novels more interesting, but it doesn’t happen at all. Or maybe it happens to few people, or everyone, but except me. And I learned that while dying especially in scenarios like that, you feel nothing. The things happen so fast that your mind hardly intercepts the signals given by your body. Even after you stand up from the ground, you don’t feel the pain; you feel it after few minutes. And, when you fall on the ground after few moments you gain your consciousness and you find that you are alive, you feel lucky just because you are alive. You don’t feel lucky because you can see your family again, or because you can meet your loved one, or you can hang out with your friends, or you got one more chance to fulfill your dreams. You just feel fortunate because you are alive, that is the time when you realize that you care about yourself only. That is the purest emotion of humans. And I realized these things after couple of days when I was going through everything that happened to me in those 10 seconds. And I feel guilty about this feeling, the truth that I realized, I was born alone, will die alone, and I was happy for being alive just because I was able to see next morning.”

“We get so obsessed by the emotions of people around us that we often get failed to feel ourselves. I do agree that slow rides of bikes gives us enough time to think about ourselves while enjoying the environment, but riding at the top speed doesn’t allow me to think anything, I am too busy to look out for myself which realizes my stress and makes me realize that how important my life is to ME! And obviously I am aware that it increases the chances of falling again but these things just take me to real me. And you cannot take away something that connects your life with real you.”

Editor’s corner:

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Thursday, 5 May 2016

Caste and Reservation

This is the reason why I think India is still far away from Caste neutrality!!

Saturday, 2 April 2016

A string of false MORALS

A year ago, just after my exams, my father received a call from my uncle informing that my aunt expired. We immediately went to my hometown. I don’t know how I was feeling before I received the news, but as soon they told me about it, I felt emptiness, and that feeling stayed for a very long time. It is how we feel when we lose someone we know cared for us. A feeling like a part of us has been lost. When I was at my hometown, I don’t know why but a thought penetrated my mind that what would have happened if it was my exam period. Would my parents have allowed me to come with them? And without having a second thought I knew that the answer would have been a big ‘NO’. My parents would have convinced me to concentrate on my exam and to visit the town after my exams. I mean, there is no chance that my dad would have said. “Come with us, exams appear every year, but this more important.”

A few months ago, my brother got ill, and he got admitted at hospital for about a week (no he didn’t die; it was just some common sickness). At that period, through out that week, every night one member from the family needed to stay at hospital, just in case of emergency. After knowing this, I insisted to stay there as I know I can stay whole night awake and I got very much experience in this. And also if I feel sleepy, I can fall asleep while sitting on a chair without any trouble. It looked like this job was meant for me. So I started convincing my parents about it. But they never allowed me to do that. They were like, ‘you got college, you got studies, and you must sleep’. Every time I gave them a valid reason why I should be in the hospital at night, they would dismiss it by telling me ‘your time is important, you got your college going’. I tried for whole week, and I felt like I successfully convinced them that I am the best person to do that thing, but still they didn’t allow me.

Now if we consider that instead of me there was a normal student in these situations, he would have realized the efforts taken by his parents for his studies. No matter what happens, ‘academics and career’ of the child are the things parents give first priority to. And the child would have concentrated in his studies and he would have ended up doing job in a developed country for more money and a bright career. In future while working on a major project in a foreign country, he would receive a call from home that someone’s sick, and his family expect him at the home. At this moment at one side he is very busy in his career and at other side his family needs him, and he will ultimately ignore his parents and will concentrate on work. Because this is what his parent were teaching him from his childhood. Read this carefully, I am not saying that he will choose career over home, he won’t even choose anything, this would happen on its own, his subconscious will make him do that. Well this is what morals are about, they don’t affect our thinking; they affect our actions. I am not saying that nowadays parents are giving false morals, they are doing right thing, “making their children realize the importance of career”, but they are failing to tell them “family is more important than work.” When a machine gives an output it doesn’t know that why it’s giving that certain output, it does that because someone has programmed it for that. Same thing goes with us, we don’t know why we are doing certain things, all our actions are output of believes we have achieved throughout our life. They say that our generation is very poor in morals; I think it was our elder’s responsibility to teach us the right thing. But they are not at the fault though, because they don’t even know that they are doing any mistakes, and if you don’t know that you are doing a wrong thing then you are not a wrong thing. And they also say that the next generation will be worse, well it depends on us what we are going to teach them.

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